Why does it always rain on me?

Sigh..... scold by Ariel again. This time not about not updating my blog though rather, about FFXI. You see... we've tried to do the Ulguerand range quest 3 times this evening but screwing up each time we each the important part. The drop off. Ariel must be damn pissed... She was so tender and encouraging to me when i was doing the hard parts and reassuring me despite my nervousness and apprehension in doing the quest. Its very stressful to be on high alert constantly. Well.. she's totally mad at me now. I got to go do it again... see you later guys

Grr

You know? Ariel was just complaining to me how i never update my blog and you know what? She's right. I haven't been updating this blog since ages. I guess i'm just not the kind of person that posts his diary online. I still maintain my personal diary on paper. But somehow, i still don't quite feel comfortable writing a blog for all the world to see.

I can understand the psycholgy behind it though. Everyone wants to be noticed; even if they say they don't. Some are open about it, some however, choose to have blogs. Something, in my opinion invites voyeurs into your life. You want someone to know how you feel. It doesn't have to be someone you know. You just want *anyone* to know. The invention of the blog seems made for this very purpose. Enough ranting though, i'll update when i feel like it

Now, to the reason of my post. I swear, Ariel is having PMS right now or i'm a monkey's uncle. Don't ask me how i know, i just know. Based on eyewitness and circumstantial evidence, i can't help but find Ariel is definitely on the edge today. Prolly will carry on for the next few days i wager. Man... its really getting to me though. I got the phone hung up in my face so many times, each time she does not i feel really really angry. Not angry at her per se, but rather, anger that whatever she's doing now takes so much importance that she can't even spare the time to tell me nicely that she's busy now so we should talk later. I mean, isn't that common courtesy? I think she does this coz im' her boyfriend and since i know her very well. She knows i can take it, so she just does it. I'm not even sure if her actions go through her thought process of how i'd feel about this. Now i don't know about you, but i really hate getting the phone slammed on me. Worse still, in mid-sentence. Sure, call in male pride or egotistical. But i find there's something very wrong with hanging up on someone without saying the proper goodbyes. Perhaps its because it doesn't take much effort to do so and the person that hangs up gives you the impresson that you are not even worth the 2 seconds its takes to say goodbye.

I was given the same harsh treatment not once, but twice today. Of course, life is sooo perfect that when she did return my call. It was exactly when i was fighting Seiryu, 3.5 hours into the game and the small window of 20 minutes and she calls me then. Amazing grace, i can tell you its not the first time something like this has happened. I tell her as politely as i can that i'm busy now and will call her back soon. Of course, she's too angry over this, chiding me. Telling me that if i shouldn't call her if i didn't want to talk. I do want to talk! Just so sway this had to happen. Sigh... blame me.

I wanted to talk to her so much today. So much i want to tell her. The very first time i called her. I wanted to ask her some pretty intimate things that of course will not see print here. Obviously, the desire to say such things has since diminished. Talking on the phone is the last priority here, everything else takes precedance. That is, how i feel about it anyway. Goodness gracious i just can't understand women. I know she's tired and frustrated about the game, especially about the chest affair down at Oldton but.... sigh, sometimes i wish she would relax about the game and not take it as stubbornly as her math problems. I've told her before that in my mind's eye i see her running into a wall over and over again until the wall of "math problems" collapses under the continuous strength of willpower. Ariel laughed at me when i told her that, i find it funny too... But that doesn't diminish how much i feel its like this in practice.

Well.... i'm written off most of my steam. Which brings me to my next point. I only write when i'm infuriated or very very anxious about something. Yes, i don't write when i'm happy. Of course, thing's of great importance take a place in my diary. When i got Ariel to be my girlfriend, our first date, etc. These things are all recorded in the annals of my life. But they take up a small part. For the most part, my diaries chronicle my deepest sorrows, my greatest anguish and my unquenchable rage..

Stay well~

Been awhile...

Hello everyone, its been awhile since i've updated this blog. Ariel is gonna be so mad at me..

Anyways, this week has been a rather fast one. Barely noticed that its come and gone. The only thing of note is i've been considering whether or not to take up pharmacy in NUS instead of my double degree in SMU. While i've been granted a place in SMU, pharmacy is kinda my interest after spending so much time in medical stuff. Perhaps my judgement is biased somewhat. I do have a keen interest in drugs. Not sure why, but something magical about a pill or powder that can make a person well, make him incapable of feeling pain or achieve myriad effects.

"I will show you fear in a handful of dust" said Eliot. In the same way, might i show you life in handful of dust? I think my dream is gone before it has started. As far as i know, you need bio at A level standard to qualify and since i don't. I think i'm totally bereft of luck

We'll see...